What are you ready to change?

 

A person typically goes to counselling to talk about what is happening to them, express their feelings and gain validation through being heard. But, rarely does a client get asked 'what are you ready to change today?'

 

We seek assistance for a variety of reasons, and often, without even realising it, not really know what it is that brings us to counselling; we only know we need 'help.' 

 

When you work with a Resource Therapist, you are going through a process that connects you to your feelings, thoughts, emotions and reactions that are at the root of why you sought help in the first place. 

 

We go to counselling to talk about something; something we don't like, something others don't like, or life issues that are confusing or weighing us down. With Resource Therapy, there is little talking or delving into a person's past. All that is really needed is a willingness and desire to create change in your own life.

 

Through a process akin to facilitation or family therapy, our internal resource states that hold on to pain, hurt, shame, anger, betrayal and abandonment, as well as multiple other emotional responses, get an opportunity to heal through validation, expression, removal and relief.

 

Inside each of us is a rich diversity of resource states ready to help out if called upon. Some are nurturing states, some hold our flight or fight responses and others protect us.

 

Some of these states were formed in childhood, bringing their childhood coping strategies to the adult world, where they may be expressed as inappropriate anger, rage, fear and all the range of emotions that each of us feels in our day to day worlds. As we mature, some of our resource states remain connected to the original experience that brought out the reaction.

 

We call this the Initial Sensitising Event, and it can be something innocuous to us today, but highly traumatising to a child. A child's fear of being 'abandoned' by his or her parents as the result of a 'joke', may find themselves unable to form appropriate attachments as an adult, always fearing abandonment by those closest. 

 

As an adult, your resource state may cause you intense feelings of anxiety whenever you start to get too close to someone, and react by pushing them away or creating self-fulfilling experiences of loss when relationships become damaged.

 

Whatever it is you want to change, change can happen. 

 

 

 

​© 2013 by Loving Therapy. All rights reserved.

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